Help your Child find their Spark

 

 

Trigger: Where do we draw the line between teaching children an art form like dance and deciding what is child appropriate behavior

Birdy dance or body dance?

Recently I have attended a function in which a 12 year child was performing a dance that required her to grind her hips and her bosom as though she was 21 years old. The crowd going crazy not at her dolled up face but at the fact that a young girl could do those moves with the panache of authenticity.

No doubt she was a very graceful dancer. But this act disturbed me. There was something that wasn’t right.   I wondered was it wrong? Was I being puritanical in my thinking? Should young children be made to perform ‘sexy’ dances?

It’s not only this young girl but with summer vacations around the corner. Young children register for a lot of dance classes and summer camps. It’s in such occasions that young children end up being taught in the guise of Bollywood dancing, some very ridiculous moves. More because these are popular and have catchy tune.  Where do we draw the line between teaching children an art form and deciding what is child appropriate behavior.

A few years ago a huge controversy got sparked over the cover page of French vogue magazine in which a 10 year old Thylane Blondeau (daughter of French television host Véronika Loubry and former soccer player Patrick Blondeau) was the model on its cover page. The early sexualization of children was the reaction to the cover page. Today the young 15-year-old has earned more than 605,000 Instagram followers as result of the hype created around her physical appearance.

Television serials, and other media are lowering the age of what should be considered as entertaining.  The age for children to participate in beauty pageant and dance competitions is lowered to a ridiculous 7 years or so. What is the harm for an 8 year old to pretend she is Myles Cyrus/ Deepika Padokone and want to be like her? Parents too are getting caught up in this argument.

Why shouldn’t young children than click their photographs and post it on instagram to gain popularity.

Well many experts agree that when children are pushed into activities that focus on the child’s physical appearance, their self-worth gets influenced especially when the child enters her teens a few years later. The teenager gets caught up with issues such as dieting, perfection and body image which in turn has a huge impact on her self-esteem as a young adult and into mid-life.

It’s not uncommon that young girls and even young boys will get their parents to spend ridiculous amounts of money on their physical appearances like hair styles, cosmetic products and other adult beauty care at an age as young as 10 years.

The hypercritical environment that is demanded of them during their childhood produces a drive in them to seek unattainable goals of physical perfections. Unrealistic expectations to be thin, physically beautiful and perfect poise are at the heart of the increasing numbers of young adolescents who are showing signs of eating disorders and body dissatisfaction syndrome.

Child pageants, reality dance competitions and later instagram follow ups are stressful and demand a lot from a child at a very young age. A time when the child should actually be playing and having fun, the child is focusing, working hard and sacrificing a lot to perform like an adult. Their school, play socialization and other daily schedule like sleep patterns get affected to say the least.

Many children also learn to associate, their looks and the ability to dance like an adult (seductively) if they need to draw the attention of the audience as cues for adult affection and love.  As a result the children feel pressurized to ignite the stage with their performance more as an attention seeking device rather than the actual fun process of the dance form.

This is also evident in the way they follow each other up on instagram.

Unfortunately dance and other pageant competitions are lucrative and children become the bait for adults benefiting their own rewards of cash, attention and popularity.  

As adults and parents we need to become aware that in the long run the early sexualization of children is not a good idea. It may seem harmless to let your child wear makeup, perfume and other adult accessories at a very young age, but in the long run it will affect the psyche of the child.

We are teaching our children that certain superficial charm and beauty are the key to success. Leaving young girls and boys with such an impressions robs them from their ability to prove that they are more than just their looks. They can also use their intelligence to be successful which is in fact more rewarding and lasting. I have met young girls that are brilliant but have a very small sense of self because they feel they do not match the beauty that is being encouraged and flashed all around them.

We need to provide our youngsters with a balance of activities this summer and intervene in their summer camp or dance programs when you find them learning to dance like adults. Let the children be children and the youth be youth. Teach them well and laughter. All this with unconditional love. END